Thursday, October 14, 2004
Well, I haven’t updated in a year and a half, but after a fantastic call from J-dog last night, I have been inspired. Lately there has been a lot of strikes, a lot of gutters but some stories stand out. This here story I’m about to unravel to you was too painful to tell a few days ago but has now become a legend.
I was up on Mackinac Island last weekend for a wedding I was in. Now for those of you that don’t know “the island” is north of the mainland of Michigan. It is mainly a tourist local but about 300 people live there year-round. There are no motorized vehicles allowed on the island so everyone gets around by horse carriages.
So the wedding had a morning reception and then there was another reception, and then there was another reception and when I say people were drunk I mean that as a euphemism for people were out of their gourds!! During the last reception I started talking to this guy Carbone. I could tell he was a winner because he was a republican Spartan. We started having a heated political debate. At one point when he had nothing left to say about the Bush Wacker he said, “your pretty intelligent” and I took it as a victory. Well the giant carriage arrived and everyone was leaving on it. Carbone wanted me to come too and, well, I was up for an adventure on the island. I turned to Shelbert but she didn’t want to go. This would later haunt me for daaaays.
So this giant carriage had the maid of honor and her family, all the groomsmen plus their friends, all the friends from school that came up, bride’s sister, bride and groom, everyone and we were making plenty of noise to be heard around the island. I kept turning around to Carbone and telling him he would have to get me home and he said no problem. Then I told the sister, you are my ride home so don’t go far.
We all eventually made it to some bar and there was some dancing, lots of laughs, good times. At some point, Carbone took me on a walk to the fort, yes there is a real fort on the island. Obviously he had no sympathy for a girl in shoes because he kept proposing that we climb to the top. We made it back to the bar and the sister was gone. I asked around and people kept saying that she went home!?!? What?!? Went home!?? She was my ride. So I turned to Carbone and said he would have to get me home, and again he reassured me, no problem. So we continued to party. It was getting late and most people had left so I stated that I wanted to go home. We set off, in the dark, not a lot of light on the island. The streets have a lot of horse poo in them obviously with 500 horses going around and I was wearing high heeled sandal shoes. Eeek. We made it back to the grand hotel so I knew we were headed the right direction. The maid of honor had offered her room number to me incase I needed to come stay, should have!! We kept walking and things were looking familiar so I knew we were going the right way. There were some splits in the road where Carbone had to think really hard and it was making me really nervous.
We got to Bam’s house. Now Bam is married to a sister of the groom, you following me here. I knew it was Bam’s house because every time we passed it someone would always point it out, “that’s Bam’s house”. We stood outside it and I was confused, I knew we were going in the right direction but why had we stopped? He said this is where he was spending the night and he didn’t know how to get me home from here. WHAT??? I started having a huge anxiety attack, what do you mean you can’t get me back, all night long you assured me it was no problem. He didn’t understand why it was so important to get back tonight. I tried explaining that one but he just said “why are you being such a girl?” Being such a girl? Why are you being such an asshole, oh yeah, I remember, you are a republican Spartan. I didn’t have my cell phone with me HUGE mistake so I used his to call my brother to get numbers but he didn’t answer.
So after a huge drawn out fight, I finally agreed to spend the night at Bam’s and told him to set an alarm so I could be back by 7:30 since we were planning on having an early breakfast with all the family and taking the 10am ferry back.
Then came the important questions, do I sleep in my dress? I made him give me a shirt and made him leave the room so I could change and get in bed. He came back in and neither of us could find an alarm on his cell. He told me he could use his palm pilot but eventually he realized it was in his car. I yelled “well go get it” forgetting that there were no cars on the island. So I was determined not to fall asleep. Staying up all night worked until somewhere around 5:45. I then woke up around 7:15 and freaked out. I woke Carbone and made him go find Bam to get directions for me to go home. Bam was up for work and I heard him chuckle at Carbone when he heard I was there. Anger rising. So I put the dress back on and was giving Carbone devil eyes, he finally said, “did you want me to walk with you?” I replied very angrily YES. But he never came out. Bam was laughing and there was no point in even trying to explain. He walked me up the path, note, not a street. He started giving me directions that I was desperately trying to remember. Walk done the path for about a mile you will get to a fork in the road, go left, not right. Then walk 1-2 miles and you’ll get to stone gates and you are going to walk through them and make a right, I said “through them” and he said “yes there will be one on each side, walk through them and make a right” continue down etc.
So I set off on my way, in the high-heeled sandles, in my dress with a 2 foot train, my hair still done, my make-up still on… I could put any black pants sorority walk of shamer to shame. This was hot!! So in my sleeveless dress in the 49 degree island air, I walked and walked and walked. Didn’t have my cell phone didn’t even have my watch. Made the first left, then walked, walked, walked.
I came to a place where if I looked straight ahead there was one stone gate and if I rotated 90 degrees there were two stone gates. Each one had a path to the right. He said go through THEM and make a right but the one with only one looked more promising. Already in tears, I looked up to G-d and asked, no it wasn’t a question, it was actually more of a threat to get me back. I ended up going through the one stone gate and it turned out to be right.
Even from a far I could see the parents in the front of the house. How do I even begin to explain? I walked in and tried as nicely as possible to explain that the sister had left me behind. That is when I learned that the sister had not returned yet! What is with this place?
Man, Mackinac was a trip and a half but I’m still a fan of Chicago!
Comments-[ comments.]
I was up on Mackinac Island last weekend for a wedding I was in. Now for those of you that don’t know “the island” is north of the mainland of Michigan. It is mainly a tourist local but about 300 people live there year-round. There are no motorized vehicles allowed on the island so everyone gets around by horse carriages.
So the wedding had a morning reception and then there was another reception, and then there was another reception and when I say people were drunk I mean that as a euphemism for people were out of their gourds!! During the last reception I started talking to this guy Carbone. I could tell he was a winner because he was a republican Spartan. We started having a heated political debate. At one point when he had nothing left to say about the Bush Wacker he said, “your pretty intelligent” and I took it as a victory. Well the giant carriage arrived and everyone was leaving on it. Carbone wanted me to come too and, well, I was up for an adventure on the island. I turned to Shelbert but she didn’t want to go. This would later haunt me for daaaays.
So this giant carriage had the maid of honor and her family, all the groomsmen plus their friends, all the friends from school that came up, bride’s sister, bride and groom, everyone and we were making plenty of noise to be heard around the island. I kept turning around to Carbone and telling him he would have to get me home and he said no problem. Then I told the sister, you are my ride home so don’t go far.
We all eventually made it to some bar and there was some dancing, lots of laughs, good times. At some point, Carbone took me on a walk to the fort, yes there is a real fort on the island. Obviously he had no sympathy for a girl in shoes because he kept proposing that we climb to the top. We made it back to the bar and the sister was gone. I asked around and people kept saying that she went home!?!? What?!? Went home!?? She was my ride. So I turned to Carbone and said he would have to get me home, and again he reassured me, no problem. So we continued to party. It was getting late and most people had left so I stated that I wanted to go home. We set off, in the dark, not a lot of light on the island. The streets have a lot of horse poo in them obviously with 500 horses going around and I was wearing high heeled sandal shoes. Eeek. We made it back to the grand hotel so I knew we were headed the right direction. The maid of honor had offered her room number to me incase I needed to come stay, should have!! We kept walking and things were looking familiar so I knew we were going the right way. There were some splits in the road where Carbone had to think really hard and it was making me really nervous.
We got to Bam’s house. Now Bam is married to a sister of the groom, you following me here. I knew it was Bam’s house because every time we passed it someone would always point it out, “that’s Bam’s house”. We stood outside it and I was confused, I knew we were going in the right direction but why had we stopped? He said this is where he was spending the night and he didn’t know how to get me home from here. WHAT??? I started having a huge anxiety attack, what do you mean you can’t get me back, all night long you assured me it was no problem. He didn’t understand why it was so important to get back tonight. I tried explaining that one but he just said “why are you being such a girl?” Being such a girl? Why are you being such an asshole, oh yeah, I remember, you are a republican Spartan. I didn’t have my cell phone with me HUGE mistake so I used his to call my brother to get numbers but he didn’t answer.
So after a huge drawn out fight, I finally agreed to spend the night at Bam’s and told him to set an alarm so I could be back by 7:30 since we were planning on having an early breakfast with all the family and taking the 10am ferry back.
Then came the important questions, do I sleep in my dress? I made him give me a shirt and made him leave the room so I could change and get in bed. He came back in and neither of us could find an alarm on his cell. He told me he could use his palm pilot but eventually he realized it was in his car. I yelled “well go get it” forgetting that there were no cars on the island. So I was determined not to fall asleep. Staying up all night worked until somewhere around 5:45. I then woke up around 7:15 and freaked out. I woke Carbone and made him go find Bam to get directions for me to go home. Bam was up for work and I heard him chuckle at Carbone when he heard I was there. Anger rising. So I put the dress back on and was giving Carbone devil eyes, he finally said, “did you want me to walk with you?” I replied very angrily YES. But he never came out. Bam was laughing and there was no point in even trying to explain. He walked me up the path, note, not a street. He started giving me directions that I was desperately trying to remember. Walk done the path for about a mile you will get to a fork in the road, go left, not right. Then walk 1-2 miles and you’ll get to stone gates and you are going to walk through them and make a right, I said “through them” and he said “yes there will be one on each side, walk through them and make a right” continue down etc.
So I set off on my way, in the high-heeled sandles, in my dress with a 2 foot train, my hair still done, my make-up still on… I could put any black pants sorority walk of shamer to shame. This was hot!! So in my sleeveless dress in the 49 degree island air, I walked and walked and walked. Didn’t have my cell phone didn’t even have my watch. Made the first left, then walked, walked, walked.
I came to a place where if I looked straight ahead there was one stone gate and if I rotated 90 degrees there were two stone gates. Each one had a path to the right. He said go through THEM and make a right but the one with only one looked more promising. Already in tears, I looked up to G-d and asked, no it wasn’t a question, it was actually more of a threat to get me back. I ended up going through the one stone gate and it turned out to be right.
Even from a far I could see the parents in the front of the house. How do I even begin to explain? I walked in and tried as nicely as possible to explain that the sister had left me behind. That is when I learned that the sister had not returned yet! What is with this place?
Man, Mackinac was a trip and a half but I’m still a fan of Chicago!
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